Shanghai Stuff

Seems like still there are a lot of guys believe that women’s NO means YES.

I don’t know where this idea came from, but sometimes a woman’s NO means a very solid NO.

However, I have to admit, this theory is not completely a myth.  There are moments when we say no, we could mean “maybe yes”, “OK yes”, or even “yes please!

OK, I agree that women could be very complicated.  I don’t even understand women myself.

Guys, how do you manage to handle such complicated creatures?  :P

Girls, have you ever said a NO when you actually meant to say YES?  Or vice versa?  :D

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“I strongly disagree.”

Wow! You almost sound angry.  ;)

But you know what, “women are women, they are the same everywhere”, this generalized statement itself is so vague, you cannot really either agree or disagree with it without knowing more details about the intention why this statement was made.

In fact, I can come up two long lists, one to support my original statement, one to object to what I said.  My point is:  this statement can imply anything.

Yes, I have been living in the states for quite a while, so that I do know a lot of Americans are even more conservative than majority of the Shanghainese.  Fortunately I’ve been living in an environment with vibrant multicultural atmosphere, where I meet different people every day, including Caucasians, Asians, Hispanics, African Americans, and sometimes even American Indians.  I agree, each individual is different, depends on their cultural background, personal experience, personalities and etc.  However, the more diversity I see, the less differentiation I feel.  Underneath different colors of faces, underneath all the seemingly strange behaviors, I personally believe that most of us actually possess a lot of similarities in characteristics, maybe it is human nature.

Well, having said that, I don’t necessarily want to argue what you have said.

First reason is that I do see your point.

Second and also the more important reason is, I’m trying to be nice to you.  :P  Ever since you made that confession, first you were stabbed by CD pretty badly.  And now, Rose has been keeping poking at you.  ;)

I’ll give you a break to let you have a chance to heal the wound.  Meanwhile, I shall keep sharpening my claws…  ;)

Mint hill, i am sure Mike can defend himself without you "being nice" to him.

But since you mentioned me and CD in your comments, i can't help but responding to this.

I would like to say, you've really got a big head, don't you? CD didn't use these exact words because she was being nice to you when she described your personality. but seems you couldn't really understand what she was saying. but now i can clearly see why she said what she said about you. i think you are a bit too full of yourself, and what you are doing is typical of a cunning chinese woman, trying so desperately to attract attention.

First of all, when you made the statement "Yes. Women are women, they are the same everywhere."

You were NOT making a general statement, you were responding to my comment, which had a very specific context, having to do with women sending mixed messages and not saying what they mean. so when you argue with Mike, you just conveniently ignored that part and believed that you were making generalized statement about women?

second, you were the one poking Mike, not me. When i made reference to his revelation, i used vague language, i was only implying. but you clearly pointed out the whole situation, ripping off his bandage, making everybody see it, then say, "oh i am so nice to you..." As far as i can see, that's very chinese, or even shanghainese - cunning, cruel, and without shame. stabbing others while saying, i am not the one stabbing you, she is... while holding the knife in your hand.

in fact, you did the same to another woman. when i was talking about someone i loved, you jumped in, announcing that you knew who i was talking about, with the intention to force me to either deny or admit... while you were saying, "i know who you are talking about... but i am saying this to stop you...", you showed the same kind of cunningness and cruelty. you really wanted me to say the name, didn't u? but i see through that kind of cunning act. i can bite my lips when necessary. i must have disappointed you.

And CD's response to Mike's revelation was not stabbing at all. i couldn't see any stabbing involved. she was merely analyziing the situation, the dynamics of an extramarital affair, and pointed out that there could be the other side of the story, and it's not necessary to get mad just because you (Mike) can't see the other side of the story. it was a well versed, cool headed analysis. and in today's world, when ppl hear a cheating story, they are more tolerant of the cheating parties than the one who's revealing it. that's why i felt that it wasn't a very noble, discreet act when the story was told.

but i dont understand why you had to point it out in your comments to mike? being nice to him by saying, let me remind you, CD and Rose were so mean to you because you did such and such... so now i am being nice to you by not disagreeing with u, while you already clearly disagreed with him? and with a false, pretentious statement, "My statement about women was a general one..." well, let me be nice to you and remind you, no, your statement wasn't a general one.

when you are full of yourself, when you try to hard to sound smart, you ignored some key facts.

I agree with rose.

ture, Mint Hill you need a rest. i should have spoken out earlier.

these days u like argue, argue is not attractive.

@JLo forum is the place for discussion and arguments, no?

hey George, Why u call me JLo? ;)  kiwiman.

yes, i lose interest to these topics. i donot know why (i guess i can feel why). its meaningless talk the topic with wrong person.

some topics too easy,with silly questions.

when u into a person, u get interested n what she talking, when u out of a relation, u cannot continue to keep listening. its like old women's socks, smelly, bullshit. but it continues.

i'm bored. want easy and useful topic.

Kiwiman?! LOL, since when George became a green fruit?

Seriously, I’d say it again, go buy a dictionary for yourself!

And if you think this forum is not good enough to entertain you, nobody is forcing you to be here.


Have you personally confirmed with CD what she really meant to say?

Again, you seem to like to use her words as bible.

And also, is it such a bad thing being smart?

speaking of being personal... Mint, why don't you respond to the part that your "general statement not being general"? why do you have to keep pointing out CD and how YOU THINK that i worship CD? so what? when you have nothing to argue about, you just attack ppl personally?

I was depressed for a long time and never really engaged in these forum discussions, and as such, many members of this site mistook me for being weak and dumb. well, i am neither. thanks to CD, i have recovered.

CD would never stoop so low as to argue with you on these things. but i dont aspire to be her - her height is too lonely. i dont mind stooping as low as your level and having some fun here.

So Mint, "Have you personally confirmed with CD what she really meant to say?"

Hello? have you heard of words? I can read. If you haven't realized, that's what words are for - they are there for conveying meanings and thoughts. So, yes, by reading what she wrote, i can say i personally confirmed with her what she wanted to say.

"Again, you seem to like to use her words as bible."

you must be very mad that i am not take your words as bible. yes, i worship CD, and love her - there, i said it. Sue me? and the reason for me to worship her is very simple: she's worth it. she's my queen.

Unlike you, who's dying for attention and being worshiped, she doesn't expect any of it, which makes me worship her more. like a typical shanghainese woman who grew up in shanghai, you are dying for attention. no matter how you disguise it, you can't in fact disguise it. but i will never worship you like i worship her, for the same simple reason: you are not worth it.

Also, just because i agree with someone,doesn't mean i take their words as bible. if that's what you believe, your view about the world is a bit too narrow, too childish, little girl.

and when you agree with someone, can i say the same about you? oh i forgot, my bad, you think your own words are bible.

by the way, when you say those words, "Again, you seem to like to use her words as bible.", i wonder what your real state of mind is. jealousy? defiant? or a sincere concern of my mental well being? well, i doubt it was the latter. i've dealt with many narcissists. they have pretty disguise but their hostility always shows, even thought it's sugar coated.

by making such snide comments, you think you are being smart. well, you are trying very hard, i give you 10 for effort. but you are not as smart as you think you are. not even close.

Anything else you'd like to say?

no it's your turn

Good. I can enjoy tranquility again.


no, tranquility is not what you want.

you want attention. but of course you won't admit. you are not that smart, but you are smart enough to try to disguise your true intention, which, isn't that harmful, by the way, when you dont do it at other ppl's expense.

so yeah, you can seek attention however you want, as long as you dont do it at my expense.


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