A little embarrassed to post my personal story here, but I need an outlet to let this out, so I can get to listen to some smart advice, especially from men, instead of my slutty girl friends. Please don't make fun of me, I am looking for valuable opinions.
I am a woman who has been sort of enjoying her single life, which means, most relationships I've been through are casual ones. But it doesn't mean that I am not up for anything more serious, in fact, I can't wait to meet someone who can turn my world upside down. Unfortunately, the chance of meeting someone like that is close to zero, for me, by far. So now here's the story:
My girl friend in Germany called me for a favor. Her friend, a German guy, happened to be on a business trip in Shanghai who did not know anyone in this town, so she hoped that I could just show him around a bit during last weekend.
I went out see him. We had dinner at Geisha. Moved up to the lounge for drinks afterwards. It was a pleasant evening. He is a very good looking man. 35 years old. Tall. Successful. Good manners. Talkative. Great sense of humor. To be honest, I was attracted. At some point, I was quite convinced he was attracted to me as well.
I don't know what it was, or maybe it was the booze, I leaned over kissed him. He instantly kissed me back passionately. It was beautiful.
Unsurprisingly, for the rest of the night, we were making out nonstop. We both liked it, and we knew we liked each other a lot. And unsurprisingly again, in the end, he just couldn't wait to get me back to his hotel. However, I turned him down. I put him in the taxi, then put myself in another, heading different directions.
Because I think I might like him a little too much, and I do not want us to be each other's easy lay. I know he doesn't even live here, well, without strings attached, I just wanna know if there's any potential for this thing to grow. I try not to sleep with him too soon that ends up killing that potential.
For the next day, he was being a bit persistent... I turned him down again. He left town yesterday morning. He usually lives in Singapore but travels to China for business once in a while. I told him I would love to see him again. He said he will try to arrange his next trip as fast as possible. I liked that idea.
Questions for MEN & mature women with life experience:
1) Did that kissing and making out thing make me look like a slut already? Even I didn't wind up having sex with him yet, it is still too late? I know how much men don't appreciate easy things.
2) I could tell he wanted to have sex with me so badly. My fault made out with him in the first place though. But does it definitely mean, when he looks at me, all he can see is a sex object? (He did compliment on my boobs and my ass after the "touch & feel".) But to be honest, that was kind of a turn off for me.
3) How can I find out what's on his mind? How can I get to know if he shares the same level of interest? How can I know if he sees something more potentially there than just sex?
4) When we meet again on the second date, what shall I do / behave, and how shall I talk to him?
Truth is, I am a bit scared, that if I just put myself out there, I might end up getting myself hurt. Falling for someone wrong is painful. And I am just a woman being careful...
Thank you for your time reading through my long post. And I would appreciate it if you could share a bit of your thoughts about this story.
Not gonna give up on my fantasies though.
huh good fighter !~roll on
Love your spirit! ;-)
After all, what's the point of life without hope?
I agree, always keep positive
Find me a new horse to play with then... :D
you was not made looking like sluty with the kissings or sth guys always get the vibe about who you are when you met.
But you began those worries too early that the whole thing very likely ends up nothing.
I am a guy, and I know how horny guys are, as well as what motivates them. I'll spill the beans like it is.
Guys are sluts, all women are fabulous whether they are easy or not. Women will never understand this, ever, because they are not guys. Don't ever worry about what a guy thinks if you make a move on him or how far you go. Nomatter what you do, he's going to love it unless he's a stuffy, overly-intellectual type.
Guys are sluts and sex objects, women are everything else. There is no such thing as a sex object woman because guys want to have sex with any girl as long as she's reasonably attractive. Don't worry about a guy thinking you are a sex object, refer to paragraph number one.
To find out what's on his mind, read the next sentence. It's sex, sex, sex, and anything extra is a cherry on top. Men like stuff that isn't sex, but it's a pretty strong and driving motivation kind of like how women like relationships. Sex is the end goal. The journey still matters, but don't worry about the sex part. Don't even think about worrying about it. It is superflous.
There is always potential for more than sex, but to know if a guys SEES that potential, check if you make him laugh, if you make him think, if you make him smile... Then there's more to it than sex.
When you meet on the second date, there's no rules. You don't even have to hold his hand or give him a hug. Everything starts with friendship. If he's gentleman, nothing matters at all.
If you put yourself out there, you WILL get hurt. That is part of the price you must pay for being human and having grown up relationships that aren't entirely platonic and involve a certain level of fun.
This guy sent me his nude photos for mine. I said no in an insulting way. He got mad and started insulting Asian women in general. I got furious and insulted him even worse.
He is a dickhead.
A few days ago, I received an email from a stranger asking if I fucked this guy, and it looked like from his Japanese girlfriend. I didn't reveal any details. A few hours later, he sent me an email like this: "U didn't fall for my trick, I am surprised."
He is a sick fuck.
End of the drama.
1) "Did that kissing and making out thing make me look like a slut already?" NO. AND "Even I didn't wind up having sex with him yet, it is still too late?" NO. AND "I know how much men don't appreciate easy things." NOT TRUE.
2) Sex and Relationships, are not 2 different dishes for men, just like big mac and french fries.
4) Life cannot be planned without a purpose.
Scared of falling in love? Commitment? Define first the fear before knowing the path.